Will you marry me? There is probably no other question that can change the lives of two people more than this one.
If the question is answered yes, the wedding machinery starts to roll at full speed: sending invitations, buying rings, choosing the perfect wedding gown, booking the honeymoon, etc. But one loses out of sight the most important thing with all this planning: are we going to be happy with each other? Is he everything I’ve ever wanted? Is she the one I want to spend my life with? Will all disagreements be discussed on an equal footing, before one begins to sulk and bang the door on their way out?
In this article, we’ve integrated some of the best questions to ask your partner before getting married.
With the help of this article, you can ask your future spouse essential questions on everything you want and need to know.
Questions to ask before marriage
Strengthen your relationship and make sure that you know what you’re getting into with these key questions below:
The prospect of marriage can turn many people into a happy daze. Regardless of how long you’ve been with your partner for, there may be some things to discuss before saying those vows. It may not be romantic, but having a precise picture of the financial situation of your partner can help prevent money-related surprises. Perhaps you do not mind cleaning up after your partner, but many surveys consider that household chores are very important to the success of marriage. It is also important to find out if having children is compatible with each other’s life plans.
You should also know how well he or she solves the problems you are facing as a couple. An open conversation about how your problem-solving strategies work together may be worth considering. Depending on how you decide to deal with your finances after the wedding, it is also important to know how much money your partner would spend on major purchases. Some people live with their spouse in constant contact and others need a little more freedom for hobbies or time with friends. Even in best marriages, couples often complain about trivialities. It is advised that both have the long-term goal in mind. Understanding how much time the other needs can help prevent problems after the honeymoon.
- How much debt do you have?
- Are my debts your debts? Will you help me pay them off?
- Who do you think is responsible for the household?
- Would you like to have children? If yes, how many and when?
- How do you solve problems?
- How much will you spend on major purchases, such as a car?
- Can you stick to a budget or do you spend more than you’ve planned?
- How important is sex to you?
- Have you ever been in prison or had legal problems?
- What do you think about divorce?
- Are you fine with the idea that I may do things without you?
- How much alone time do you need to be happy in this marriage?
- Will the experiences we have with our ex-partners help or hinder us?
- Do you like my parents? Do you like my family?
- How important is religion to you? How are we going to celebrate religious holidays?
- How far can we go flirting with other people?
- Is it okay if I watch porn?
- What do you like about me? Do you know what makes me angry?
- Do you know what makes me happy?
- How do you see us in 10 years from now?
Questions to ask your partner before marriage
Those who want to get married only want one thing: to stay together happily ever after. Few know though that if they ask their partner a couple of questions before the “yes” word, the odds rise. We do not believe that there are many people who examine their potential husband or wife before the ring exchange and that is why we are putting forward these questions.
Marriage is a wonderful institution. No but. There are many people who do not think so well about it, but it is not the fault of marriage. Guilty are the couples who cannot handle the marriage. This may also explain why so many people still want to promise eternal love in sickness and in health, despite of numerous marriages having failed. Of course, no one can promise that their love will last forever, but one can at least promise to do their best in an attempt to be the ideal partner to the significant other. Happy spouses are very good at shutting down their egos. Even if you think you are right in a dispute, sometimes you prefer to be beaten, simply because the right is not worth the hassle and stress.
Life is a journey that is best not taken alone. It is okay to have different stopovers, but as a general idea, you should have a common goal for this life-long trip. Being married is being on the move for two. Without a doubt, there will be many good moments and unfortunately, also really bad ones and if you allow it, those bad moments will ruin your marriage. That moment that they have to decide whether they really want to go through every good or bad phase, comes to every married person. Once the decision is made, they cannot let anyone second guess it. That’s marriage: holding each other, no matter what comes, no matter how bad.
- Do you love me?
- Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?
- Will you do your best to keep the romance alive?
- Will you grow with me and not separately from me?
- Will you stay through hard times?
- Are you okay with losing a couple of fights for the sake of peace?
- Will you always put our relationship above everything else?
- Will you be a good parent?
- Why do you love me?
- Will you keep reminding me how much you love me?
- Will you help me if I cannot help myself?
- Do you promise me to continue pursuing your personal goals and dreams?
- Will you not let yourself go?
- If I die first, will you be there for me until the end?
- Will you promise me to live for both of us, if my time is short?
Questions to ask yourself before marriage
Getting ready to get married can be the most exciting thing that you’ve done in your life. Ask yourself the questions below and see if that’s what you really want.
There are times when it is not a good idea to get involved with someone, let alone to get married, like when you’re in a middle of a life crisis or if you’re in country with political conflict. What if you’re still going to university?
Surely you may also marry if you are still studying. It’s not a sin, it’s just very tough. You’ll start off poorly and with the uncertainty of what the future holds. If you’ve started a new career and work 100 hours a week just to keep yourself afloat, then think again if you want to tie the knot.
Marriage is for as “long as you shall both live”. Do you see yourself next to your partner at the age of 70, after the euphoria of young love will have faded? For marriage to really hold, shared views on fundamental issues are an important factor. Anyone who knows the other’s opinion in important matters avoids surprises and greater difficulties in the partnership. If your expectations and hopes as a couple do not coincide, your wedding plans should rather be put on hold.
Is he jealous? Does he expect you to wait for him with dinner on the table and does not want to help with the household chores? If yes, do not hope that he’ll change after marriage. You know, old habits die hard.
By no circumstance do we advocate for not getting married. All we want to do is for you to be sure that you know what you’re involving yourself into. You are free to get married when you want. All we ask is to check if it is the best decision at that time of your life.
- Is now the right time to get married?
- Can you imagine spending your life with him/her?
- Is your partner jealous to an extreme?
- Is he or she on the same wavelength with you?
- If you earn more than your partner, is it going to be a problem?
- Is he good in bed? Is she a matching sex partner?
- Is she/he trustworthy?
- Will they stay married to you, if you were involved in an accident that left you invalid?
- How does your future wife/husband react in major couples’ crises?
- Do you both have hobbies that you share?
- Is he violent? Did he ever strike you?
- Has he/she cheated on your before?
- Will you be okay, if your spouse needs to travel extensively for work?
- Are my life expectations similar to my partner’s?
- Do your trust him/her?
- Is he or she a kind person?
- Do you really love him/her?
- How does your partner react when they are angry?
- Does h/she do everything he/she can to help you overcome a problem?
- Will they still be there for you, if you gained weight?
Questions to ask before a LDS marriage
The Church of Latter-Day Saints predicates that marriage is holy. We wrote below the questions a couple should ask each other before getting married.
By a simple search on the web, you will find out that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was founded by a certain Joseph Smith in 1830. Disoriented about religion, this 14-year old will be the founder of this American religious movement. We won’t be getting into more details on its history, but we will have a deeper look on how this theology regards the matrimony. We’d like to mention though, that even if at the beginning the Church openly approved of polygamous marriage, nowadays such marriages are no longer allowed.
After having read several pages dedicated to this movement, we can say that we’ve made a clear idea on what they believe about marriage and its importance in the community. If we were to summarize it, we’d say that the general idea is the following: if the spouses remain loyal to the Lord and each other, they will enjoy a harmonious and eternal relationship. Sounds idyllic and super easy, doesn’t it?
But can real life marriages be that simple and uncomplicated? After all, aren’t people of different religions just…people? Don’t we all have same aspirations, desires and dreams, regardless of who do we believe in? We’ll let you answer these questions, as we will try to come up with the most important questions one should ask before a LDS marriage. We confess that we paid extra attention to not write LSD instead of LDS.
To paraphrase president David O. McKay’s (religious leader and the 9th president of the Church of LDS) notes on marriage in choosing a life partner, one must study the “disposition, the inheritance, and training of the one with whom you are contemplating making life’s journey”. Not rocket science, is it? We’d say it’s common sense, good advice on how to look for in the person you want to live with
As promised, check out below what we consider to be essential questions to ask oneself and your future spouse before a LDS marriage.
- Has the partner fully accepted the teachings and ideology of LDS?
- Do they wholeheartedly agree with the church’s sacraments?
- Does the future wife/husband inspire love, loyalty and allegiance?
- Will you raise your children in this faith? Does your partner want the same or will they allow the children to choose their own religion?
- Is the Book of Mormon the second most important book in your life? It is said that the Bible is the most important writing to the LDS cult.
- Will you dress modestly, without being extravagant? (Note: many members believe that keeping it simple clothes-wise is important and that is why most wear a garment underneath their worldly clothing that resembles a priest’ robe or a nun’s tunic. It is a reminder of their relationship with God and their devotion to live good, principled lives.
- Will you respect your body and mind? The Mormons are advised to avoid caffeinated drinks, alcohol and tobacco and to be frugal with their meals.
Questions to ask before a Christian marriage
You might ask yourselves: what’s the difference between a Christian and a secular marriage? Not to worry, we’ll explain it in the next part of the article.
We’d say that the subcategory is self-explanatory, isn’t it? A Christian marriage has Jesus Christ as their centerpiece, if you will, whereas the non-religious marriage has… no one.
Christians couples know and understand that there is a straightforward description of their roles in the Bible and they have a duty to attain them.
Often, great expectations are attached to the concept of marriage. And rightfully so, right? Unfortunately, disappointments are not rare and drag many people into deep life crises, even in religious circles.
We have been thinking about the meaning of marriage in the eyes of God and what the Bible has to say on it. We won’t lecture you on Scripture and we won’t take excerpts out of the Bible to show you what they say about the Christian marriage, but we will suggest you some questions you should ask yourselves before getting married.
- Do you believe in God and Jesus Christ? Are you religious?
- Do you go to church on a regular basis?
- Do you do good things for other people? Do you help your community or people that need a hand?
- Do you read the Bible? What has It taught you?
- Who brought God and religion to you?
- Will you spend your life according to Jesus’ teachings?
- Will you be faithful to your spouse and not commit adultery?
- Have you stolen anything? If you did, do you regret it? Did you repent?
- Will you always love God and not bow to any idol?
- Will you do your best to lead a good, modest life?
- Will you look after your family?
- What do you want out of marriage?
- How will you nourish your Faith?
- Is it important how others view your marriage?
- How do you spend time with God every day? Do you pray? Do you read from the Bible? Do you meditate and memorize verses?
- How do you imagine your family time with God?
- Are there topics that you do not want to ever discuss with your spouse?
- Inappropriate sex positions: are they off limits?
- If your husband or wife asked you to stop doing one or several activities that you enjoy doing, would you do accordingly?
- Infertility can sometimes be a source of disagreements and misunderstandings. Can you be married to someone who cannot produce offspring?
- How do you understand the Bible? What role does It play in a couple’s life?
- How important is it to be part of a small reading Bible group? Is it something you’d like to do?
- Do you and your future wife/husband express faith in the same way? If not, could it be a deal breaker?
- What do you think that Christ and God expect from the marriage?
- Would it be a good thing to regularly review the positive and negative aspects of the marriage?
- What are the means your partner envisages for the spiritual growth?
Questions couples should ask before marriage
What you should know about marriage. Check out our recommended questions that partners should ask each other before the big event.
It’s important to know your better half well before getting married. If marriage is the ultimate goal in the realization of a couple, it is a step to be taken that deserves wise and mature reflection. Asking the right questions will avoid unpleasant surprises, once the ring on your finger.
Let’s see the questions to ask before getting married.
- What do you want to accomplish with and alongside your spouse?
- What are you ready to do for the good development of your union?
- What are your needs and expectations regarding the cleanliness and organization of your home?
- Do you want to keep your current bank accounts separately or would you like to open a joint account? When do you want to start saving?
- Do you know how to distinguish between issues related to your relationship and those related to your work?
- How would you like to develop your professional activity at home? With this activity, what added value do you want to bring to your home?
- How much are you able to spend monthly, without impacting your joint budget?
- At what level do you place your personal and common ambition? Are you comfortable with your partner’s level of ambition? How could you join forces to achieve your personal and marital ambitions?
- In intimacy, does your partner feel the love you feel for him? To guard against marital routine, how do you want to spice up your intimate life?
- Do you want to take a vow of chastity until the day of your wedding? How will you approach the subject of intimacy? Are you satisfied with the frequency of your sex life? How could you find common ground so that no partner is harmed in their desires?
- Are you satisfied with your partner’s approach to their health? Are there habits or trends that you do not like in your own (smoking, poor or excessive diet, etc.)? How would you like to help and support him or her so that he or she can gradually stop that?
- What place do your families have in your married life? How often do you want to visit them? How do you maintain the family connection? Do you visit them together or separately?
- Do you want to have children? If yes, when? How many? For each of you, what is the importance of having children? How will you share the tasks? What education do you want to give them? How do you want to become involved in your role as a parent?
- How will a child impact your relationship? If you are having trouble conceiving, how are you going to fight this ordeal to put the chances on your side of being able to give birth? What means do you want to put in place to be able to taste the joy of being parents?
Questions to ask a girl before marriage
Sorry that we cannot be modest, but these are simply the best questions you can ask your girlfriend, before asking her hand in marriage.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. The cynical would say it’s just an agreement between two people to pay fewer taxes, but not us. We’re incurable romantics. The more we think of it, the more we realize what a wonderful marriage can be. If marriage is bad, it’s because most people do not know what to do in difficult situations. We know that the future is fraught with uncertainty. And yet, we always want to make this promise because it gives us the courage to give ourselves completely to another without reservations.
We may not be able to keep it, but we can commit to doing everything we can to be the most wonderful life partner possible. Some people thrive inside a couple, others need their freedom even in marriage. Before getting together for ever and ever, the difficult proximity-distance issue should be clarified, as well as the question of separate bedrooms or vacations.
That’s all we can ask. If you are thinking about putting a ring around her finger, then make sure that your future partner will be able to answer these questions in all honesty and that her answers will please you.
We’re not all-knowing, but we know this: the questions below will help you determine whether marrying your woman is the decision you want to make.
- Why do you love me?
- In what situations do you most feel the love that I have for you?
- Imagine that we win the lottery: what would you want us to make with the money?
- Would you like us to have children?
- Can you be faithful to me?
- How would you react, if I had a fight with a member of your family?
- How do you envision your life and what place do I have in it?
- What wouldn’t you like me to ever do and say to you?
- Does she make me laugh?
- How do you handle stress?
- How do you think we can solve our conflicts in a polite manner?
- Is there something that I am expecting to change, once we get married?
- Are you sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with me, despite the difficult situations and hardships that will come in the package with marriage?
- Do you trust me enough to tell me everything you think about?
- How can we manage situations where our opinions differ, while respecting each other?
- What steps should we take in regard to forgiveness and reconciliation in our relationship?
- Will you consider threesome sex or other sexual propositions that I like, but you’re not comfortable with?
- What are your expectations from this marriage?
- If your career is not and will not be as successful as mine, will you be envious on my professional achievements?
- Will you tell me that you want out of the marriage as soon as you know it cannot work between us anymore?
Questions to ask a guy before marriage
You have found your dream man and wait eagerly for his proposal. Do not rush anything! Until he asks you to marry him, you should use the time to put his feelings and attitudes under the magnifying glass.
Before any commitment to a marital union, there are some prerequisites that you should respect. It’s not the questions about doing the laundry or the garbage that needs a relationship to thrive. Questions for couples need to go deeper and be personal. But above all, relationship issues should bring a couple into conversation on a regular basis. If communication is ignored, love often dwindles soon.
There are some equivocations that you should raise before embarking on this long adventure.
- Can you take criticism without getting upset?
- Do you love me and only me?
- Does the idea of marriage scare you?
- Have I ever hurt you without realizing it?
- What do you think is our greatest common strength?
- Do you feel neglected by me every now and then?
- How did you perceive the relationship of your parents?
- Is there something you don’t want to give up after marriage?
- What woman is a role model for you and what do you do with the inspiration?
- Would you want to know all my past before marriage?
- Is there anything that makes you feel unsure?
- Are there things that have repeatedly led to quarrels or difficulties in your previous relationships?
- Why do you think the divorce rate is so much higher today than it used to be?
- Why do you think we’ve t fallen in love with each other?
- Do you think a couple should share everything? Or does everyone need a certain kind of privacy?
- Is there something that you want more support from me?
- Which three words would you use to describe me and yourself?
- Have I ever embarrassed you?
- Do you think that quarreling in a relationship always has to mean something bad? Or is it possible to emerge stronger from it?
- From your point of view, have I changed during our relationship? If yes, how? Do you like it or does it annoy you?
- If a fairy could fulfill a wish for us both, what would you like it to be?
- Is there something that you can’t forgive?
- In your opinion, what do you think one can do to maintain a healthy relationship and keep it exciting?
- Can you say that you are completely happy? If not, what’s missing?
- Do you sometimes feel misunderstood by me?
- What should we do or how should we behave if we cannot find an agreement after a dispute?
- Is there something in our time spent together that you regret?
- What changes through marriage?
- Is it normal to have a fight in a relationship? And if so, to what degree?
- How do you know that a relationship is over?
Marriage is the mystery of the union of a man and a woman who decide to engage “freely and without constraint” for life. Marriage is first and foremost a universal human reality: love between two people and the desire to build a home. Ratified by society, marriage is an important act that must ask for reflection and preparation. It is a free choice that entails mutual love, the desire to commit to life on the same path.
A successful marriage is defined differently by each couple, wouldn’t you say? Yet, the basic bearings are always the same. It does not matter whether the distribution of roles is more classical or modern, whether children belong to the family or not. When we marry, we dream of creating a wonderful home through a successful marriage, but it is known that it is not a goal that everyone achieves.
To be happy in marriage for life is an attainable dream when we know and commit to certain behaviors.
Pay attention if your partner tells you something, recognize their needs and correct your behavior if they dislike it.
Nobody is perfect and as humans, we have many opportunities to make mistakes. Only those who can forgive can find their way back to love, if one of the partners has made a mistake.
Make sure, however, that the mistakes that affected the relationship do not recur and take appropriate actions.