Arguments about money are the best predictor of divorce. Making the decision that your relationship and marriage come before money is the best place to start in your marriage.
Let’s now discuss several strategies that couples might use to try to get financial reconciliation in their union:
Start with a big picture in mind. Find points of agreement to create a unified future financial vision. In this discussion, don’t think in the slightest about today. To identify shared ideals for the future you will create together. The big considerations include whether or not you’d like to purchase a home, what retirement would be like, and whether either of you will work or will split the household responsibilities. It’s critical that you both be sincere with one another. Even if it may have been wonderful to talk about this before getting married, do it right now to avoid things getting worse.
Put your agreed vision in writing. You’ll be shocked at how difficult it is to put your unified vision in writing. You’ll frequently make the mistake of hearing what you want to hear while you speak. Moving forward as a team will depend on the act of putting it in writing and receiving agreement that what is written represents a common vision.
Go on a break. Take a pause for a day, a week, or even a month if developing a common vision for the future proved difficult and unpleasant. Keep in mind that creating a happy family is more important than making money.
Set objectives. Try to establish some clear long-term goals after you and your partner have come to a consensus and are prepared to discuss finances further. Set a particular target for saving for the children’s college if your shared vision involved paying for their attendance. Set financial objectives for your desired jobs, retirement, and house buying. Be descriptive, but keep the long term in mind rather than today. Don’t quarrel over who paid more for lunch today!
Go on a break. You’re doing well if you’ve set some particular long-term goals. What significant development! You now have a clear vision and objectives in mind. Continue working if you’re having fun, but if it’s difficult or stressful, take a vacation for a few days or even a few weeks, and then return to it when you’re ready.
Review. Review your joint long-term objectives and shared vision now that you’ve had a chance to do so. Verify if you are still speaking the same language. Deal with any lingering uncertainties and worries. Keep in mind that your marriage means more to you than money.
Make a strategy of action. Where the rubber hits the road is here. It’s time to start discussing how you spend money right now to achieve your objectives and realize your common vision. It is realistic to assume that we will take six months or a year to fulfill a dream—backpacking through Europe with you, residing in Colorado and enjoying hiking and skiing seasons, or residing in Mexico close to the beach and making cherished lifelong memories with you. However, borrowing the cash to cover a year’s worth of expenses is not a good idea. If you have it, use it to do something that will strengthen your relationship. Then create a strategy for achieving your objectives and fulfilling your common future vision.
Create a budget. A budget-like element is most frequently included in a practical action plan. If one of you doesn’t like the term, choose a different phrase. The same goal is achieved via budget restrictions, savings goals, and discretionary expenditure caps. To accomplish your common goal, choose words you can both live by after which you can.
Keep in mind that even if you can’t make your budget work, your marriage is still salvageable. Put your objectives first.
The happiness of the marriage is the most crucial factor in determining a family’s overall happiness. Find your common future vision, then cooperate to make it a reality. You’ll stop fighting over the same old thing if you’re both fighting for the same thing.