Do’s and Don’ts of Charisma

Charisma: The Do’s

So you want to become a more charismatic person? Check out the dos and don’ts that will help you get there.

Do Build Rapport

Learn to connect with people at a deeper level than just acquaintances. You need to build rapport with the people you meet and interact with. There are people who make lifelong friends from just a tiny introduction, and there are people who can work with others for years and not connect at all.

A charismatic person knows how to build rapport with the people he meets and he uses this talent to keep that rapport flowing.

Do Network

Building rapport spills over into networking. You need to build your network to reach out in every profession of the business you’re interested in. The larger your network is, the more powerful you become because you would be able handle almost everything through your network.

Be aware that when you ask something, there is almost always a price. Initially, you need to make extra efforts to be of help to your network; in this way, when you ask for any help your network will provide you with solutions.

Do Maintain Eye Contact

Eye contact is a sign of trust. People instinctively trust those who can make and maintain eye contact while talking. Charismatic people master the technique of maintaining non-threatening and non-condescending eye contact with their audience.

It takes practice to ensure that you make the right type of eye contact or you may end up with negative results. Too fixed and rigid will come across as intimidating; too long, and it would come across as flirty; too short and it would be interpreted as insincere. To project friendliness and trust you need to look the person in the eye for about 3-4 seconds before moving on to other person. However, if you are speaking to one person longer periods of eye contact is beneficial.

Do Be Tactful and Diplomatic

Charismatic people don’t bite people’s heads off. They are patient and they do their best to see the other side of the coin. However, when they find that their way is the best way, they have the conviction and strength to stand by their beliefs.

At such a time, they are able to say “No” in a most pleasant way. Charismatic people will have perfected the art of diplomacy. They would be able to transmit and defend their point of view without hurting, annoying or insulting any other faction of population.

Do Hone Your Sense of Humor

Humor is one of the most valuable tools of a charismatic person. The ability to laugh at problems and awkward situations is one that endears a charismatic person to all. The ability to laugh at oneself is perhaps one of the most attractive for it tells people that he too is fallible and hence, one of them.

You will find that charismatic people have an easy sense of humor that never hurts anyone, but puts a smile on one’s face in the most difficult situations.

Do Have Patience

It is very rare that you would see a charismatic person losing his temper. Patience is one of the virtues valued most not only in a leader but also in charismatic people. Charisma in a way, means a person with whom you can be at ease no matter what.  Patience to allow others to grow to their full potential without judging them is an excellent quality and most prized virtue.

Charisma: The Don’ts

Don’t Show Superiority

Charismatic people are magnetic; people feel drawn to them because they like the way they speak and behave. In short, all charismatic people are popular; some in smaller circles and some in larger. At no point of time, will a charismatic person will look down on anyone.

On the contrary, they are humble and easy to access because it is humility that keeps them learning and evolving into a better person.

Don’t Focus On Self

A charismatic person has people drawn to them because they come across as genuinely interested in others. They never focus on themselves; rather they shy away when the attention converges on them.  They rather highlight other people’s strengths than their own and almost always give credit to the team rather than themselves for any success achieved.

This is one of the most powerful and attractive qualities of a leader, which most charismatic people are.

Don’t Talk, Walk the Talk

Ask yourself why you are so inspired by charismatic people. It is because they do what they say. They walk the talk. They believe in what they say and live by what they preach. They inspire people by action, not only by words. When a charismatic person speaks, they instill trust and inspire people to action by example.

Don’t Abuse People’s Trust

Unfortunately, there are too many con artists out there who are as charismatic as can be. They build people’s trust in them and use their gullibility to cheat them. In fact, if you look back there are enough examples to fill pages. One of the con artists who was immortalized on the silver screen was Frank Abagnale. The movie “Catch Me If You Can” was based on his life. He had quite the charm and his charismatic ways allowed him to win over many of whom he later duped. As a charismatic person, you understand that trust is the foundation of all your interactions, so don’t abuse it!

Don’t Judge

Charismatic people know there are always two sides to a coin. They rarely judge people for their past. Rather, they encourage people putting their past behind and building their future on new foundations.

Charismatic people are non-judgmental, patient and always ready to lend a helping hand. They are genuinely interested in every person they meet and are able to disagree without making the other feel inferior or offended.