50 Things to Know About Modern Manners

Quite a few people today are under the impression that manners really do not matter anymore, especially in today’s world. After all, we all have too much to handle on a daily basis, right? There is no doubt that the way you conduct yourself and the way you treat others has an effect on how people perceive you. When you know that you have control over how people see you, then you can use this to your advantage by improving many areas of your own life. 

Etiquette is actually more than just a list of things to do and not do in order to look “proper.” Etiquette is actually a set of principles that you can use in order to become more attractive to others. You can use the tips in this book in almost any life situation. 

They love being around someone who has manners, is kind, and treats others with respect- the way they would want to be treated. You will find that people will seek out ways to be around you and will be willing to do anything that you ask of them when you act in this way. 

Family Etiquette

  1. Take the time to spend time with your loved one.

Let’s just spend some time together. Every night, my husband and I sit down and read a devotional book and a reading from the book of Psalms in the Bible. We also talk about things that need to be discussed- unless it’s something that will turn into a fight (then we table it for later on). The thing to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t let other things get in the way of spending time with your family- they are the most important relationship in your life. 

  1. Make sure you express your gratitude as often as possible. 

By going out of your way to give a compliment to someone for something that is normally taken for granted (clean dishes, clean laundry, etc. ), you are letting them know that they are appreciated and that their work is being acknowledged. An essential element of good relationship etiquette is making sure that everyone is acknowledged and appreciated for what they do. 

  1. Have a pleasant conversation with others.

There is usually plenty of frustration and anger in the conversation in a family- after all, you can let your anger out at home and still have the support of your family, right? However, it is important that you learn how to speak to those who live with you day in and day out and have the opportunity to hear you each day in a nicer tone. If you do lose your temper, make sure that you apologize to the other person as soon as possible. Make sure that you do not do that again and that you try extra hard to be nice to them in the future. 

  1. Take part in random acts of kindness. 

There are many instances of strangers performing random acts of kindness for them – the entire “Pay It Forward” movement is a great example of this. It is a wonderful thing to do, but if you think about it a little more, don’t you think that you should be as nice to those who you are closest to as well? Taking the time to do nice things at home will make the rest of your life a lot more peaceful and pleasant, and you will also see that such acts of kindness have a domino effect – others may want to reciprocate the kindness as well. 

  1. Be a good example to others. 

When you are a parent, you can bark orders at your children all day long, but if your attitude is “do what I say, not what I do,” then your orders will fall on deaf ears. Whenever you tell your children they should be nice and that they should use their “magic” words (please, thank you, you’re welcome), but you don’t use those words yourself- they get mixed signals, and that then leads to misbehaviors. The number of cell phones in the world today is at an all-time high, and if you are talking or messaging on your own phone at dinner, your teens are unlikely to listen to you when you tell them to put their phones up. In the end, you should never expect anything from your children that you are not doing yourself when it is just you and them. 

  1. Talk to your spouse and listen to what he or she has to say to you. 

Nothing is more heartbreaking than the inability to communicate in a marital relationship when it begins to deteriorate. It is important to talk and listen to each other in order to communicate effectively. There might be a temptation to just tune out your spouse, but if you actually pay attention you might learn a thing or two and revive your marriage. I believe one of the best ways to start a conversation is by talking about what is going on in the world and in your own life. It is important to remember that you do not have to agree with everything you say. It is possible to have a fun time in a debate- as long as it is not mean-spirited. 

Dating Etiquette

  1. You should not lose sight of who you are. 

Whatever relationship you are in, no matter how big or small it might be, you should always remember to be yourself. Therefore, you will need to love yourself first and foremost, and before you let yourself out into the dating world, you will need to make sure you are ready for it. You must have a strong sense of self-worth and self-esteem as well as a sense of independence in order to succeed. 

  1. Don’t forget to have fun on every date you have. 

You feel good when your date is happy, and this is one of the first signs of attraction. Make sure that your date is happy. Various studies have shown that when you go on a date with someone, one of the most important things to determine what a successful date will look like is whether or not everyone enjoyed themselves. Think about some fun things to do in your area and also think about what your date would enjoy as well. An afternoon spent at the shooting range may not be up her alley if, for example, she prefers to be indoors. 

  1. Always make sure that you communicate clearly. 

In order to maintain a healthy relationship, there must be a strong sense of communication between both parties. In order to create a middle ground where two people can come together and create intimacy and love, communication is a bridge that helps them establish a connection. When people do not communicate clearly with each other, they may appear to be romantically connected, but deep down they do not really are. Without clear communication, they will be unable to move forward in their relationship. 

  1. Make sure you are a strong negotiator.

It is vital that you have good negotiation skills to get your relationship through the rough times when clear communication isn’t enough. It is imperative that both partners must be willing and able to negotiate in order to work through the issues that may arise in these circumstances. Negotiation can play a key role in unlocking your future together when you do so with an understanding of and respect for the other person. 

  1. Take care of your relationship. 

A healthy relationship, especially a relationship between two people, requires a lot of TLC in order to survive and prosper. By demonstrating daily respect, appreciation, attentiveness, kindness, and reciprocity in the way you behave, you can show your partner that you do value and cherish them. 

Workplace Etiquette

  1. The ability to accept new projects and/or responsibilities willingly. 

As a hard worker, you will be expected to take on new projects and/or responsibilities when you are willing to do so. By taking on additional responsibilities, you’ll show your boss – and your co-workers – that you’re capable of handling additional work and that you want to grow in your job. There is a good chance that you will be considered for that next big promotion if you do this. 

  1. Improve your skills by learning new ones. 

If you want to learn some new skills, or if you want to get to know about some other departments in your company, take initiative and learn something new. It will help you to show your co-workers that you are a team player and you will be able to help anywhere you are needed, and it will help you to look good in the eyes of your boss. 

  1. Stay away from being the squeaky wheel.  

There is a saying that says the squeaky wheel gets the grease. The reality is that being the complainer in your workplace can actually backfire and bite you in the end. Your boss and/or your co-workers will not want to be around you if they see you as the person with the negative attitude and won’t be willing to help you if they see that you are the negative person. It is important that you don’t complain or talk badly about others, but rather, let your work accomplishments speak volumes about the kind of person you are and the kind of worker you are. 

  1. You should dress to impress. 

It is important that you dress professionally for work, not unkempt or provocative, if you wish to look professional. You must avoid both of these styles of dressing at all costs, since they bring about negative stereotypes. Make sure that your hair is neat and clean, and that you are not wearing too much makeup. If you are a lady, be careful not to show too much cleavage or wear skirts that do not leave much to the imagination. 

  1. You should never use profanity in the workplace. 

There is no excuse for you to use profanity at the workplace, no matter how frustrated you are with your boss, colleagues, or even clients. When you tell someone this, there will be those who will take offense at it, and then there will be those who will change their once high opinion of you after hearing what you have said. This is a problem that you definitely do not want to be dealing with. In some cases, someone may feel that, if you use profanity, that you are sexually harassing them- this is something that you definitely do not want to deal with.

Job Search Etiquette

  1. When preparing your resume, it is always a good idea to provide references. 

Providing references is one of the most common mistakes people make on their resumes. The problem with not providing them is that it seems as if you are hiding something. It is unlikely that a prospective employer will actually contact them, but it is always a good idea to include them in your resume. There is no better reference than a former supervisor- just make sure that you contact them and let them know what you are doing. In this way, they aren’t caught off-guard, and you are able to get a sense of the type of reference you are likely to receive from them. 

  1. Make sure you pay attention to the length of your resume. 

In the world of job hunting, how long should a resume be is one of the most controversial topics, and there isn’t really any consensus about it. If you are seeking an entry-level position, however, you should keep your resume around one full page long. Keeping your resume under two pages is recommended if you are seeking a senior position. 

  1. Make sure that you research the company you are applying to. 

If you are interested in the job, then you will take the time to learn about the company you are applying for. When evaluating the company, you should look at its history and see that it has stood the test of time. Ask about the company’s sales figures for the last three to five years. The fact that you have taken the time to learn everything you can about the company will help you to stand out above the other applicants. 

  1. Take a moment to think before answering. 

In order to succeed in an interview, you have to keep in mind that you are not in a race. The person conducting the interview is not judging you based on how quickly you are able to answer their questions. As soon as you can, it is important to ensure that you give quality answers rather than how quickly you can answer the question. As you prepare for this interview, you should think about the questions that you will likely be asked and discuss them either in your head or with a trusted friend or family member. 

  1. Make sure that you send a thank you note after the meeting. 

The best way to make your application stand out among the others would be to send a thank you note after you have been interviewed. It is surprising how few applicants do this after being interviewed. It is not necessary to make the message fancy or long- in fact, the simpler the message, the better. There is no doubt that this will give you a strong impression and help you to rise to the top of the short list of candidates. 

Cell Phone Etiquette

  1. Be respectful of the person you are with by showing them some respect. 

Don’t use your cell phone during a social event or on a date if you’re at a social event. That would be rude and disrespectful of you. By staying on your phone the entire time, you’re basically telling them, “yes, I’m with you, but this call/text is more important.” Nothing else you could possibly do could make them feel less important and wanted than to be distracted by your phone the entire time. There will, of course, be the rare emergency. In that case, you should excuse yourself and come back after your call is completed. 

  1. It is important to remember that silence is golden. 

There are times when it is totally inappropriate for your cell phone to ring, and we are all aware of that. It is likely that you would not want your cell phone to ring in the middle of your uncle’s funeral, for example? There is a silent/vibrate mode that comes standard with all cell phones. This way, you will be aware of any calls or texts that come in, and you won’t disturb others around you. 

  1. Take a moment to step back. 

Your cell phone conversation is not something that anyone wants to hear. It is best if you must place or accept a phone call that you step away from the group/person you are with in order to avoid any distractions. No matter what the topic of discussion is, this will keep everyone happy and will allow you to enjoy the privacy you need. 

  1. Get rid of your ringtone. 

It seems to be all the rage at the moment to have pop ringtones on your phone. In the movie theater, in a business meeting, or even in church, many people love using a popular song as their ringtone – but while it may be cool, it can be quite annoying if that ringtone rings in the middle of the movie. You should avoid ringtones at all costs if you wish to follow proper etiquette when it comes to ringtones for your cell phone. Ringtones could end up hurting you in the long run. 

  1. Let your phone do the work for you. 

When people are having difficulty hearing the person on the other end, they often feel that they must speak louder in order to be heard. However, this is not actually necessary. A modulator often found in cell phones amplifies soft voices, making them sound louder as a result of the modulator. It is therefore possible to converse in a subdued voice, and the other party will be able to hear you just fine. 

Religious Service (Mass) Etiquette

  1. Be quiet and reverent when you sit at the altar. 

Mass is a time during which you are expected to be silent and reverent. You shouldn’t take advantage of this opportunity to catch up on all the latest news and gossip. It would be a good idea to simply be silent when those church bells ring and listen to what is being said by whoever is performing the Mass. 

  1. Stay until the end of the meeting and be on time. 

You should arrive on time – it would be even better if you could arrive a few minutes early. In my husband’s opinion, if you are fifteen minutes early, you’re on time, but if you’re on time, you’re late. It is best that you arrive a little early because you will be seated when Mass begins and you will not be a distraction to those around you. In addition, make sure that you stay until the very end of Mass. It is rude to leave during any part of Mass- unless you are dealing with a cranky child. 

  1. You Should Do What Makes You Most Comfortable. 

Despite the fact that standing and sitting when everyone else is does seem to be proper manners, if you are not comfortable with it, you don’t have to. As well, when the time comes for the congregation to receive Communion, you are welcome to remain seated or you can go up to the altar with the others. It is customary for non-Catholics such as myself to cross our hands over our chest, letting the priest know that we would like to receive a blessing, but not partake of Communion. I was not yet Catholic when I first visited the Catholic Church with my husband and his parents for the first time, so I always remained seated until I was comfortable enough to approach the altar for a blessing. 

  1. Ensure that you are dressed appropriately for the occasion. 

It’s safe to say that you’re in a place that the members of the Church believe to be holy. You do not have to dress up for this occasion, but at least you should wear clean, well-kept clothes. Men should wear nice pants and shirts. It is important for women to wear clothing that covers their body – the shoulders, chest, and knees should all be covered, and shouldn’t be too tight. 

  1. Make sure you turn off your cell phone before you go to bed. 

You will want to make sure that your cell phone is turned off or on silent (not vibrate) during a religious service as per the guidelines laid out in cell phone etiquette. During church it is very impolite and distracting to have your cell phone ringing or buzzing at all times. Actually, I have an app on my phone that is set up to automatically put my phone on silent before church, and it does not come back on until after the service is over.

Travel Etiquette

  1. Don’t forget to use your signals at all times. 

Using your signals in the car is one of the easiest and most efficient ways to show etiquette while driving. It is very irritating when you are driving along and the person in front of you suddenly slows down or stops to turn without letting you know what is going on, right? 

  1. Limit the use of your horn. 

If at all possible, you should limit the amount of time you spend using your horn. I am sure that neither you nor anyone else likes to be honked at in the middle of a traffic jam. Honestly, honking your horn does not accomplish much – just be a little more patient with other drivers instead of laying on the horn continuously. 

  1. When you are driving, do not multi-task while you are doing so. 

Makeup and hair should be done at home by you and not while driving. This is particularly true when you are putting on your make up. In order to avoid holding the phone while you are driving, you might want to consider getting a hands-free device for your phone. You should avoid eating while driving as well. In short, you are putting yourself and your fellow drivers in danger by engaging in all of these distractions, which does not simply demonstrate a lack of etiquette. 

  1. Be patient with your staff at all times. 

Please be patient with the hotel staff when you are checking into your hotel. The hotel staff is there to help you in any way they can. Even if you arrive late, make sure that you are considerate and be polite, and you will be rewarded in the long run, if there are any additional needs during your stay. 

  1. Make sure you are always quiet. 

You are encouraged to keep noise in the hallways to a minimum when staying in a hotel as there are other people staying there as well. If you are having a good time during the day, it is perfectly fine to laugh and have fun, but if you are at night, you should keep your voice lowered and your feet still. Make sure you take a few extra seconds to ensure that the door closes softly when closing- hotel doors are known for closing loudly. The last tip I would like to give is to keep your room’s volume low, since your neighbors will not like to hear what is going on in your room. 

  1. Make sure you drink as little as possible. 

If you are going on a cruise, you should keep your drinking to a minimum. There is nothing wrong with having a few drinks and unwinding, but you don’t want to be known as the ship’s “drunk.” When you get drunk, you can not only end up embarassing yourself, but you can also become quite ill from the effects. 

  1. Be sure to tip your wait staff. 

The majority of the workers on the cruise ship make their money from tips. For that reason, proper tipping rules must also be followed on cruise ships. Imagine that you are working on a cruise ship, what would you like people to give you if you were on the ship? 

  1. Make sure that everything is in order before you start. 

It’s very important that you ensure you have all of the necessary documents with you when you check-in at the flight counter- including your ID, your passport and anything else they might need to get you on your way. Don’t forget to be nice to the ticket agent, they have a pretty stressful job. If you try to pitch a fit like a 2 year old when speaking to them, you will get more help from them if you are polite. 

  1. Label Your Luggage in a Way That Makes It Easy For You to Identify It. 

It is not uncommon for luggage to look the same, so be sure to put something on the exterior of your luggage to identify it as yours. Make sure you print the same one on every piece of luggage you have so that you will be able to see it coming down the conveyor belt. This way, you will be able to get your luggage quickly, so you won’t have to wait in a long line at the baggage claim area. 

  1. It is important that you review your ticket as soon as possible. 

Take a few moments to look over your ticket again when you are about to board the plane. Instead of trying to hurry to board the plane (where you might have to wait to take off), take a few moments to carefully read your ticket. Make sure you know exactly where you are seated and follow the instructions for boarding when you board your flight. As soon as you get to the airport, make sure that you have your boarding pass with you, so that the boarding agent can scan it/check it for you quickly.

Social Etiquette

  1. Discover the proper way to tip service providers. 

It is a good idea to always keep a few smaller bills in your wallet for tipping. In this way, you will never be in the position of having to ask for a change. Tips should be given according to the following guidelines: 

In a restaurant, wait staff receive 15 to 25% of the total bill

A hairdresser or barber will charge you between $3 and $5 for their services

Drivers of taxis and shuttles: 10% to 15% of the total fare

There is a charge of $1 to $3 for the room service people at the hotel

  1. Ensure that your dog is on a leash at all times. 

The laws pertaining to keeping your pet on a leash vary from state to state, but for the most part, there are laws regarding it. It is essential that you keep your dog away from people who don’t like or are allergic to dogs when you are in a public place, such as a park or walking trail, as well as protect your pet from other people, such as bikers and skateboarders. 

  1. Do not allow your dog to leave any messes behind. 

You are typically required to pick up after your dog, which is another law that is generally in place. There are several reasons for this including maintaining a clean environment and preventing the spread of disease in public places. Whenever you are out and about, it is important for you to be prepared to pick up after your dog and dispose of it properly. As a pet owner, I went to a pet shop and bought some “doggy doo” bags and a container with a clip so that I could keep them on the leash so that they will always be available whenever we are out. In spite of the fact that it is not fun to do, it will show others that you are aware of the rules regarding dogs. 

  1. Keep the conversation quiet in the restroom. 

It is well known that bathrooms are famous for their acoustics- conversations in the bathroom carry far beyond the walls. Furthermore, it is advisable to wait until your friend and you have completed your business in the restroom before continuing the conversation you were having. If you are talking over the restroom stalls, it is not appropriate to do so. 

  1. Make sure you are aware of your power cord. 

You should always be aware of where your power cord is when you are in a coffee shop or a café and must plug in your laptop or phone. Plugging into their systems and being in their way will definitely make you one of their enemies. There should not be anything on the floor that would present a trip hazard to other patrons (or employees). Also, make sure you don’t keep the outlet for yourself. You are most likely not the only person in the same situation as you, who needs to plug in their laptops or phones at the same time. Always keep that in mind when plugging in your laptop or phone. 

  1. Do not forget the importance of moderation. 

I believe that moderation is the key when it comes to tasting wines. The problem with drinking too much is that you will end up getting a little tipsy and you will end up lowering the opinion of the other tasters. You see, the more wine you drink, the less you’ll get from them because the more wine you drink, the less you’ll get from them. It is always a good idea to make sure that everyone gets the chance to taste all of the wines that are on offer. 

  1. Arrive early to the meeting. 

In the event that you get summoned to jury duty, the first thing you should do is to make sure you arrive at the courtroom early. In some cases, you may be turned in if you fail to arrive on time and a warrant will be issued for your arrest if you do not show up. As a precautionary measure, you should make sure that you leave your house early enough so that nothing will prevent you from being on time. 

  1. Make sure you don’t make too much noise.

You should keep the volume level of your music to a minimum because not everyone appreciates it the way you do. It is also important to keep in mind that not everyone likes the same type of music as you do, even if the volume is appropriate. Remember that apartment walls are thin, about the same thickness as hotel walls. Keeping your traffic noise level at an acceptable level so that it does not affect your neighbors is the best thing to do. 

  1. Make sure that you have an appropriate renter’s insurance policy.

It’s possible, even though it doesn’t happen all the time, that if any damage is done to your property, you and your landlord might have a disagreement. Although the landlord will likely carry a policy, it will not be for the property that is located inside the building itself, but for the building itself. As a result, it is important that you carry a renter’s insurance plan – these are great ideas and are usually very affordable. 

  1. Don’t bang your head against the wall. 

Apartment walls are very thin- and banging on them is definitely a bad idea, as I mentioned earlier. Regardless of the fact that you’re going to be hanging a few pictures, this is one of the best ways for you to irritate your neighbors. It is important that you speak with them if you wish to hang some pictures there. It is important that you find out when the best time is for you to do this. Don’t bang on the walls if they are being loud – go to them and tell them what is wrong. You will be better off as a community if you and your neighbors communicate with each other and seek to understand one another. 

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