It can often seem most difficult to connect and leave a good impression when you are faced with a group of people. In fact, sometimes it can be difficult to get a word in edgeways and this may appear to make it difficult to leave any kind of impression, never mind attracting the others to you.
In these sorts of scenarios it is important to remember that listening is more important than talking, choose the words you do use wisely and be sure to be remain positive, no matter what the topic. You may be surprised at how big an affect this can have on people.
The following techniques will help you to feel comfortable in any group situation and attract people with your charismatic nature:
Every member of the group needs to feel that you are listening to them, or talking to them; to be truly charismatic they need to feel like they are the only person in the world that matters at that moment in time.
The best way of achieving this is to pay attention to each person as they talk, make eye contact, ask a question and if possible nod in agreement whilst touching their arm to encourage them. Touch is an important way of bonding with people and is usually remembered long after the words are forgotten. Obviously in today’s society it is essential to be careful that you only touch when it is appropriate to do so.
If you are the one doing the talking then make sure you obtain eye contact with every individual and for a few moments they will believe you are talking only to them. By breaking down a group into individuals you are able to converse with each one on a personal level.
Whenever you need to talk to a group, whether large or small, or even if you have the privilege of giving a speech then you should allow your passion to show. You will firstly show the group that you care about a subject; this will automatically translate into knowledge of the subject and anyone with an interest in the subject will want to hear what you have to say.
Alongside this if you show passion for your subject then people will listen simply because you are animated and make the subject interesting. People with no knowledge of a subject will respond to your passion and learn something which they will be able to take away with them. This will create a connection between you and encourage them to follow you, whatever your calling.
Perhaps the most important effect of speaking with passion is for people to see that you are human, with real emotions. This is the ultimate draw for most people; the opportunity to connect with a real person.
This is another important approach if you are the person providing the talk to a group. Your knowledge of a particular subject may be vast but it is unlikely that many of your audience will have the same knowledge. It is, therefore, essential to keep your conversation simple so that anyone listening can grasp the basic of the subject you are talking about.
First and foremost this will allow the listener to understand you which means they will continue to listen. If your conversation is too technical they will switch off and drift away; if not physically then certainly mentally. You may actually be memorable to them, but for the wrong reasons. They will almost certainly do their best to avoid you in future!
Talking about your chosen subject in simple terms will also enable your listeners to ask questions without feeling stupid. This will engage them in the subject and you, the person and guarantee you leave a good impression.
The best public speakers will break the ice by telling a humorous story and this approach can be very successful when dealing with any size group. Ideally the story should involve an incident of adversity and how you overcame it; a personal story with a little humor will have any audience on your side. If you can also show that you are able to laugh at yourself then you will have an antidote which stays with your audience and will always connect them with you.
Any story you tell should not be too long winded or you will lose your audience, it is best to limit it to four or five sentences. The resulting laughter will let you know you have hit your mark and the bond is formed. One story is enough; you do not want to be the class clown!
It may be tempting to hog the limelight and enthrall your audience with your heroic tales; you may appear to have them hanging off your every word. Unless you are really a superhero or an amazing storyteller then it is likely that they are simply being polite and waiting for the right opportunity to move on. After all, it is highly unlikely that one person could really have that many amazing stories of their own feats!
Any group listening to your endless tales will quickly forget you and move on, at best they will remember that you do not appear to have any interest in other people and that you come across as insensitive. This is not an attitude which will endear others to you and will certainly not improve your charisma.
It is far better to keep your approach low key, think carefully before you say anything and allow your contributions to be short but incredibly constructive; with a touch of humanity.
Never try to be someone who you are not. It is incredibly difficult to keep up any charade for a length of time and it can become very complicated if you need to remember how to behave in front of different people. In fact others will quickly see through a charade and you will lose their respect and any connection which has been established.
It is far better to simply be yourself, allow people to see you for who you are, flaws and all. Not only will they respect you for this they will be more inclined to remember you. They will know you are genuine and this is a trait which is admired by many and adhered to by few. This alone will be enough to attract others to you.
Alongside this the ability to be yourself in any situation will show that you have a great deal of confidence and are comfortable in your own skin. This is essential if you wish others to be attracted to you.
Most people want their fifteen minutes of fame and some people will go to extraordinary lengths to obtain it. Anything which detracts from this or the potential to steal the limelight is likely to reflect badly upon you. Even if you are the keynote speaker at a highly publicized event you need to be able to share the spotlight. Thank those who have helped you and acknowledge those who come before and after you. Manners cost nothing but will ensure you make a good impression. Even if your speech is not as brilliant as you hoped the audience will remember you as the person who shared the spotlight and made them all feel like they were part of the achievement.
This is worth significantly more than the limelight; it provides a link from your audience to you, making them part of all that you have achieved and all that you will achieve. They will want to be part of your future success and will be drawn to help you in any way possible.
It is not possible to achieve any level of success without having failed along the way. In fact it is essential to experience failure to ensure you appreciate success. Acknowledging your failings will show those you are talking to that you are human, this should never be done in a way that seems as though you are obsessed or are looking for sympathy. Your failings should be acknowledged in a positive light; mention them as the reason for why you changed attitude, tact or even projects. This will ensure the conversation remains on a positive note and leaves everyone involved feeling good.
Admitting you have failed also shows that you are not arrogant or invincible, it will show that you are able to understand other people and their predicament and that you have picked yourself and moved forward. You know where you are going and people will recognize this and appreciate it.
When you are within your comfort zone you will be relaxed and at your best, it is essential to extend this comfort zone to cover the venue at which you are meeting a group of people. As this venue could be anywhere in the world the easiest way to handle it is to focus on controlling your space. In polite society people do not generally invade each other’s space, getting closer than half a foot to someone’s face is aggressive and rude.
The six inches surrounding your body belong to you and you must feel comfortable in controlling that space. You can allow your body to move closer to others but you can also stop them from getting too close by either telling them or stopping them with a gentle, but firm hand.
This is an excellent way of showing others that you are in control of your space, your actions and you know what is acceptable and what is not. Being able to show this to others exudes confidence and will draw people to you. Everyone is drawn to someone who is confident and comfortable in their own body and space.
This comfort can also be extended to a room if you are giving a speech; visit the room before the speech to ensure you know the layout, potential pitfalls and best position to stand in.
It may be more difficult than it sounds but it is essential to stay relaxed when dealing with any new situation. This is the time your stress level will be highest and tension can arise; this can easily be transmitted to those you are talking to and will come across as nervousness or an inability to connect with others.
Instead, focus on breathing slowly and taking your time before talking or replying, listen to the other person and allow them to lead the conversation, it is, after all, them that you want to leave with a positive attitude.
Appearing relaxed, even if you do not feel it will allow you to appear confident and comfortable in any circumstances. Others will note this and respect it; in fact they will wish they could be as calm and collected as you. The more you practice this, the easier it will be and, ultimately you will be relaxed in any situation.